Sars wrote a piece about how mean girls can be, and right there were all these horrible memories of middle school. Did anyone have an enjoyable experience in middle school? Did anyone like it? Everyone I’ve talked to hated middle school. So does that mean that the people who tormented me in 7th and 8th grade didn’t like doing it? The thing that got me about how these people treated me was not that they were blatantly mean…it was a mocking friendliness. Thank God they stopped once we got to high school.
Then, in the forums, someone wrote how she wants a daughter, and wants her daughter to grow up and go to parties and have a boyfriend and be popular. Which immediately made me think of a line from Carousel, when Billy finds out that Julie is pregnant and he’s imagining what it’ll be like to have a child. He’s wondering about being a father to a daughter (“You can have fun with a son, but you’ve gotta be a father to a girl”), and sings, “Dozens of boys pursue her / Many a likely lad / Does what he can to woo her / From her faithful dad.” And then I wonder if my parents are ever disappointed in me. I mean, I know they love me, and are proud of me. I’m fairly smart, did well in school, was involved in activities, got a good job, have a group of good friends. But in high school, I was definitely nowhere near popular. And boys…Kathy didn’t get a boyfriend until she was in college. Me? I have yet to have a boyfriend. Which, believe you me, bothers me a lot. But I wonder how much it bothers my parents.
I don’t know. I’m just tired and over-worked and stressed right now, and really looking forward to Becca coming and taking Thursday and Friday off.
Current song in my head:
“Hands Clean” by Alanis Morissette