Started as a comment on Steve's blog.
I think you know who you are. The problem is figuring out who you want to be.
Actually, it isn’t even who you want to be. It’s more, what you want to be doing. And I don’t mean that strictly in the career sense. If I did, that might be easier. For me, at least. I want to be a project manager at a publishing company, working on books that interest me. Literary criticism. History books. Fiction.
See? Easy. I’m kind of already on my way. I’d doing project management here. I’m in charge of an actual book, not just the smaller projects I kept getting (not that I minded those). Once I get some more experience here, then I’ll try to find a job at a publishing company. I want to get away from the nonprofit world, though I’m sure the for-profit world will be quite a change.
Career? There you go. I mean, I might not always want to do that. A point very well may come in my life when that changes. It’s the rest of life for me that’s hard.
I do think I know who I am. And I like myself. I like my life, for the most part. Good friends, supportive (though physically distant) family, good enough job, enough (though not tons) of money. Yet I keep feeling dissatisfied. And I’m not sure with what. Sure, I have my suspicions, but I’m sure that just having a boyfriend isn’t going to fix my life—more like that would complicate it (but in a good way).
What am I missing?
Well, other than the 10 pounds I lost. That’s being compensated for by the self-esteem I’m gaining.
Current song in my head:
“Do You Want to Know a Secret?” by the Beatles
Quote:
"Bottom line is even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what, are we helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are." Buffy