Barb's Burblings

I think my weirdo magnet

I think my weirdo magnet must be on “high” lately. Because the weirdos have been coming out of the woodwork lately.

Last week I was exiting the building for lunch. Lunch, as usual for me, was a can of Slim-Fast and a bag of pretzels. I get into the elevator, and there’s a guy in there already. He makes some mundane comment; I reply with maybe a word. He keeps going. There’s a pause. Then he says something along the lines of, “You know, most people like to eat food for lunch.” Me: “That’s highly overrated.” Then, happily, I fled the elevator. Maybe the guy was hitting on me. If so, he might want to realize that insulting my choice of lunch isn’t the best way to win me over.

On Friday, I was coming home from tutoring. I had stopped at the grocery store, so as I entered my building, I was laden down with books, papers, and grocery bags. The freaky lady next door was leaving the building with her dog. She’s old, doesn’t speak English very well, and mutters incoherently a lot. I say “Hi” and am moving towards my door when she says something, and grabs me. And hugs me. Wha? What just happened? Hello, lady? You’re scary. And my arms are full. And I don’t know you. Please, please don’t touch me. I like my personal space. So now I’m avoiding her like the plague.

Of course, these things happen in threes. On Monday I was running errands, and happened to be wearing a Gettysburg College shirt. I was walking from the Container Store to a Hallmark, when a guy sitting at a table goes, “Gettysburg, huh?” I pause and say something like, “Yes.” He then asks me where I was born. And about Gettysburg. And where my parents live. And how long I’ve lived here. And what I do. And he drones on about various relatives and places they’ve lived, and he’s lived. And he didn’t have front teeth. The conversation ended with this exchange: Him: “Do you have any pets?” Me: “No.” “Do you have a boyfriend?” “No.” “That must be pretty boring.” Me: “I like my life fine, thanks,” and walked away.

Hopefully I won’t have to deal with any more freaky freakys in the near future.