Barb's Burblings

Half a decade

It was five years ago today that I graduated from college. And I'm pretty sure that I'm not where I thought I would be.

I certainly didn't expect to be working for the same place that I started working for right after college. I mean, that's not a bad thing; I like my job for the most part. But I feel like we aren't supposed to stay in jobs that long, if that makes any sense. (Though technically I'm not in the same job; I was promoted a couple years back.) I feel like I should be looking for another job. But then it comes down to the thing that I'd really like to edit fiction, or nonfiction that interests me. But to do that, I'd pretty much have to move to Boston or New York, which I don't particularly want to do.

That I'm still in the DC area isn't surprising. I wanted to move here, and I'm happy here. I don't want to leave. Though I wish I could afford a better apartment. Or, you know, my own apartment. I feel like I should be thinking about buying a place within a few years, and I don't know that I see that happening.

I am driving a car I love, which rocks.

My friends today are pretty much the same as my friends five years ago. Sure, I know more people, and occasionally hang out with these "new" people, but the folks that I hang out with on the weekends (for the most part)? Went to Gettysburg. And it's not that I don't love having these people in my life, but I would like to have new friends. I try; I volunteer, take classes, participate in a book club...but it's just not happening, for the most part. Which is frustrating, but I'm sickly comforted by the knowledge that this is apparently a very common problem.

Which leads to the fact that I'm still single. It's not like I sit around brooding about this, crying, "Why, God, why?" but it would be nice to have a boyfriend. Or, you know, a date. There are times when this gets exacerbated, as I watch more and more people I know hook up and get married. It just gets to me sometimes, you know? As I left Gettysburg, I know I wasn't thinking that five years down the line I'd be as single as when I left.

This is not to say that I'm unhappy with my life; on the contrary. I've done lots of cool things: celebrated a new year in Edinburgh, traveled around England alone, volunteer at the Smithsonian, had room service, learned to tap dance, bought a car. And I'm really happy that I am such good friends with people from college.

Five years later I'm not where I necessarily thought I would be, but really, who is? And it's not like I don't have plenty of time left to get where I want to be. Which is something that changes. Frequently.

Posted by Barb at May 21, 2005 03:38 PM | TrackBack