It took me five years, but I think I've finally reached the point where I no longer want to go back to college. There was quite a long stretch of time where I pined for my days at Gettysburg. Life after college was OK, but nothing could compare with those four years. And it's kind of still true. College rocked and I absolutely loved it, but I guess I've just reached the point that I've accepted where I am with my life. (Well, sort of.) (And when I'm actually at Gettysburg, it's a totally different story; it's all I can do to stop myself from clinging to Weidensall and refusing to let go.)
And as a side note, last weekend when I was visiting Melodie, she commented on how it's kind of odd being a "grownup" and how it involves a lot of standing around talking, which is true. Of course, I pointed out that we had just spent a good 5 minutes watching people trying to eat 6 Saltines in a minute, so we're not totally in the "grownup" camp yet.
Anyway, so I've managed to pretty much let go of college--or, at least, of wanting to be back there. And yet, I absolutely cannot let go of my resentment of moving during high school. I was watching Meet Me in St. Louis yesterday, and [SPOILER ALERT] the family is supposed to move to New York City. They wind up not going when the father sees how crushed the family is. And I wound up yelling at the tv that that's not how life works. (I later discovered that the movie is based on a true story and the family did move to NYC.) I know that moving to Great Falls wasn't entirely bad; the theater program at CMR was awesome, I learned how to keep score at baseball games, and I think that it did help me become comfortable with who I am. But it did suck. A lot. It's been 11 years since that move (and 7 since my folks moved away from there), but it still kind of bothers me. I think driving up to Connecticut and being near the places I used to live kind of brought it all out. It's amazing that I still got a pang as I drove by Exit 135 of the Garden State Parkway, even though I haven't lived there in 18 years.
(And totally unrelated, but because I know you care, I have managed to claw my way out of last place in my fantasy baseball league; I actually jumped up two spots. Hurrah!)
Current song in my head:
"Turning Japanese" by the Vapors