Barb's Burblings

I may have to resort to drastic measures

So I was reading a nice story about My Boyfriend Brian Roberts talking to high school athletes about what led him to trying steroids. It was all going along well until I got to this:

"I went to meet my girlfriend's parents for the first time in December," he told the students. "I was sitting on the couch with a bunch of her parents' friends and my name is crawling across the bottom line of ESPN. And she's looking at me like, 'Why did I bring you here?' "

Your girlfriend? Oh, Brian, what about us? Do not make me get a new Orioles boyfriend. Do you want me to promote Reserve Oriole Boyfriend Adam Loewen? Do you know what you made me do? I was watching an interview with Nick Markakis and thought to myself, Wow, he has nice eyes. See!

Of course, now I'm going to blame her for the slump you're in. If you start hitting again, I'll just assume you've broken up.