Barb’s Burblings

This week is Public Service Recognition Week, which honors all federal employees who serve America as federal, state, and local government employees. This week is supposed to be used to educate people throughout the nation aaround the world about the many ways government services make life better for all of us.
Hurrah, I guess, since I’m now a government worker. What excited me was the notice that the Office of Personnel Management would be having a barbecue. Exciting! And then I saw “Prices TBD.” I mean, yeah, it really doesn’t make sense that it would be free, but it’s like, “Good work! Now pay for your lunch.” That seems off to me, somehow.
Though I’m sure that you, the taxpayer, are quite happy that your money isn’t going to a free lunch for me. Nope, it’s going to the subsidized lunch that I will probably be having instead. Thanks!
Current song in my head:
“Yesterday” by the Beatles

So I’m proofing this document and come to a section on plagiarism. It has a definition of the word, taken directly from a dictionary. And the citation? Incomplete. Dude, you just don’t want to mess up the citation for “plagiarize.” Ever.

There’s a poster at work that is totally awesome. It has a very stern-faced woman, hair pulled back except for a stray piece across her forehead. She’s somewhat shifty-eyed. Behind her stands a soldier. He is In Charge. He is ready to Kick Ass and Take Names. And at the top of the poster, in large letters: Information Security. I mean, I get that information is security is important. I have a security clearance (…which is just totally bizarre) and I understand confidentiality. But the poster reminds me of nothing more than the poster we had hanging up in our bathroom in college. It was one of those World War II ones and had a man driving along in a covertible. Next to him, riding shotgun, is a ghostly image of Hitler. The message on that poster? “When you ride alone, you ride with Hitler.” So whenever I see that “Information Security” poster, that’s what springs to mind.
In other work-related news, I was proofing a document on ethics, and one of the references was a book called Business Ethics, which naturally made me think of Billy Madison, and the showdown between Billy and Bradley Whitford. Speaking of which, did everyone see where the judge in Texas cited the speech used in that scene? (You know the speech, the one ending, “Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”)
And if you’re not watching The Office, you should at least check out the fake “The More You Know” clips they did, because they rock.

There are a lot of differences between my old job and my new job. One of these differences is that there are a lot more boys at my new workplace. The other day, I got into the elevator and I was the only girl. Crazy! The sad thing is that since this place is so huge, I probably won’t see any of them more than once. Ah well.

It’s a very odd day for me in the office today. On Monday, it’ll be public knowledge that I’m leaving my current job. I was offered a job on Tuesday, accepted Wednesday, and told my boss then. The problem is that the head of my department is out until Monday, and it wouldn’t be good if everyone knew I was leaving before her. So a few people know at the moment, but most don’t.
So today is really my last “normal” day in the office. After this, there will be a lot of questions about where I’m going, what I’ll be doing, “We’ll miss you,” etc. I’ve watched other people leave; I know the routine. And it makes me want to hole up in my office with the door closed until February 10–my last day here.
The new job? Well, it pays a lot more. And I know that I’m not going to advance at all here. I won’t be working on books, which I’ll miss, but I’ll still be performing a similar job function. I’m scared–very scared. I don’t like change, and I’ve grown very comfortable here. But there are times when you need to leave your comfort zone. This is a good move, but it’s so scary. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.
I am looking forward to the week off I gave myself. Mmm, sleep.
Current song in my head:
“Whistling in the Dark” by They Might Be Giants

From The Onion: Someday, I Will Copyedit the Great American Novel (thanks to Steve for the link)
To a writer who didn’t strive for perfection, my corrections would seem niggling. But the author of the Great American Novel will understand that I am as essential to his book as the ink that will cover sheaf after sheaf of virgin paper.
This is me, only I want to edit the Great American Trashy Romance Novel.
Current song in my head:
“California Dreamin’” by the Mamas and the Papas

Book From Hell is done; we have completed copies and it’s shipped to the 1200 people who ordered it. Book From Hell II: The Rebookening is at the printer; I only have to check the blueline. But I am finding a complete lack of motivation to work on Book From Hell III: History of Hell. Maybe it’s the fact that my vacation starts in a week. Maybe I just spent too much energy on the first two books from hell. And the worst of them since the first, Book From Hell IV: Bookinator, is already driving me insane. Prospects don’t look good. At least I have Happy Fluffy Fun Book to keep me sane.

I didn’t think it would happen, but it did. I am smitten. I have found The Perfect Manuscript. And ohh, how I adore it. It came in something like 6 months early. It’s 10 chapters long, the longest of which is only 21 pages (most are in the 14 to 16 page range). To give you some reference, most of our manuscripts have chapters in the 50 or 75 page range. It has long case studies, which I love. It has no references because it’s a workbook. It has no tables. The only thing I need permission for are the case studies, which the author has already obtained. I inventoried the manuscript in something like 20 minutes. I want to run away with this book and have 10,000 of its babies.

Some not-so-bright person decided that Friday afternoon would be the perfect time for a group meeting. Because there’s nothing I want to do more before the weekend than sit around and discuss things that don’t directly affect me. Anyway, we got to play games. And when I say “got to” I mean “were forced to.” One was sort of role-playing, “A member calls you and blah blah blah. What do you do?” The other was a version of Jeopardy. I was already kind of annoyed because we were running behind and I have a boatload of proofing to do (I should’ve brought some to the meeting; I mean, right now I’m just checking for dropped copy–that doesn’t require thought, people). And there turned out to be some super-competitive people there. Like, scarily so. But it’s okay, because my team won. We totally kicked butt and won in the Final Jeopardy round, thanks to me. Woot! Free ice cream!
Current song in my head:
“Some Fantastic” by Barenaked Ladies

It’s done. For now. I finally finished copyediting that stupid book and it’s so nice to get it off of my desk. I’m kind of freaking out because Chris didn’t look at it at all; she said that she’ll check it in pages. Good God. Half of the book is at the typesetter; the authors have the other half. None of it is on my desk. And I’m ecstatic.
I have a bunch of other work to do, of course, a lot of it involving finding people to do things (review a manuscript, copyedit, etc.). I hate trying to find freelancers, which is stupid. I’m offering them a job! But I feel like the manuscript is long, the schedule too tight, we don’t pay enough, and so on. Again, mostly not valid points.
But it’s still easier to deal with than that stupid chapter. Hopefully I’ll be able to cope better when I have to proofread it.
Current song in my head:
“Beautiful Boy” by John Lennon